silence is praise to you, zion-dwelling God…
you hear the prayer in it all. (psalm 65)
light makes rainbow on dark wood of table, rings of color around our mugs and the teapot of summer-berry and the chocolate chip muffins and our hands folded over words
we’ve met in this lighted place, mothers on a saturday morning and it’s quiet, the kind without washing machine whir or child question or life rapping at doors, just muffins and tea and the laundry of two souls
it always takes quiet, of some form, to hear him, even if it’s the kind found tucked inside the ribcage
she’s telling me she doesn’t know how to pray, is tired of naming off worries and items to God as though a grocery list and i touch the curve of the mug holding liquid and think of brother lawrence doing dishes, finding presence of God amongst whisper of soap bubble
i think of how he practiced the presence of God by always thinking about him; by making pretend just he and God existed in the world and all of these dishes served them both, and how he longed to love God with every blink and so,
talked with him in continuous stream of thought, sometimes just lifting soul to heaven and resting at God’s feet, being close to creator
“God knows all of our needs before we even ask,” i stumble. “perhaps then, we don’t need to ask. perhaps prayer isn’t about the asking. it’s about the not-asking.”
i wait and tea leaves sift. “perhaps it’s trusting that he knows our needs… spending time in prayer just being and thanking and loving him, and not saying our needs …”
it takes more faith sometimes not to ask.
we open bible and that’s when we read “you hear the prayer in it all.”
in the communion of broken souls in rainbow-light around muffins and tea, the prayer in it all… an offering of praise instead of longings… and really,
“are you lacking anything?” i hear him ask in the silence.
nothing. crumbs dust our mouths and the shadows shift.
now, with ann, thankful:
311. pot of potato soup simmering, lemon cake to ice, chocolate chip cookies lining the counter
312. son running road to church
313. men’s choir leading worship in blend of alto and bass
314. quiet of a sunday afternoon
315. aiden riding miniature horse by himself
316. splash of spring sliding into rain gutter
317. gift of boys’ clothing, boxes and boxes
318. boss who fought for husband’s job when it was supposed to be cut (trent was the only one of all probationary teachers in alberta who kept his job)
319. words of encouragement from agent
320. the gift of prayer
ps. please note, i do not want to dispute the truth in these verses:
James 4:2? “You do not have because you do not ask”
or Matthew 7:7-11: “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!”
or
Philippians 4:6 : “do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.”
i do believe, there is a season for asking. but i also believe that our souls plead for us with words and groans we cannot express… sometimes i stress about finding the words, but i shouldn’t, for God knows: he knows our needs. and i think, our thoughts, should they ever be tuned into his spirit, will convey these needs even as we praise him. and let us never stop interceding for others…
(there is so much to prayer, but more than anything, i hope we can learn to REST in him…)