trent talks about the river like it’s an old friend. it’s pregnant with spring, and we’re canoeing its curves. joey and aiden and opa and trent, through the fields, heading home. we stop to portage over fallen trees and when joey isn’t talking, there is quiet. even the birds are silent. it’s like we’re all waiting for the sky to break open and angels to start singing the hallelujah chorus.
but instead there’s just the burble and burp of a distended river.
we’ve been waiting long for spring and yet winter never really came, so we’re all a little bit tired and confused around these parts. the seasons seem blended and the whole world aching for some kind of salvation.
it’s time, i tell Jesus. it’s time to return, can’t you hear the children weeping? and the other night i sat on my couch and cried because God gave me a glimpse into their futures. for one of my foster boys, it was beautiful, and for the other, it was not, and then they toddled out of the bathroom in their bathrobes and kissed me on the cheeks and we all just rocked each other back and forth in these days of ninevah.
the other night we ate chinese food and i’m always a bit silly about fortune cookies. i believe God can speak through them and mine said, “family will be your greatest priority this year,” and it is. nothing i do, no picture i paint, no words i write, compares to the feeling i get when i read these four children a story. when we sit down at supper and Joey blurts out, “Jesus died for our sins,” around a bite of pizza, and Jin sits there folding his hands in prayer because we forgot to say grace.
and sometimes when Aiden whispers, “I lug you,” after i tuck him under his blankets i am sure of it. Jesus has already returned, and has taken up residence in my home.
791. time to paint and run on saturday
792. strawberries with whipped cream
793. the smell of rain
794. a glimpse of our garden poking through the snow
795. the mating songs of birds
796. geese flying home
797. a nanny for the kids who loves cooking and baking
798. movie night with the girls
799. trent’s mom’s radiation completed
800. God being closer than ever.